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Existential Angst Willow Madison

Existential Angst

Willow Madison

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As promised, a new excerpt from Existential Angst:He sighs once, shaking his head. I don’t even see his hand, but I feel it as the back of his knuckles connect with my temple. I instinctively curl into a ball, covering my face, but he doesn’t strikeMoreAs promised, a new excerpt from Existential Angst:He sighs once, shaking his head. I don’t even see his hand, but I feel it as the back of his knuckles connect with my temple. I instinctively curl into a ball, covering my face, but he doesn’t strike again.I tremble and cry, but my body is too spent to give it much effort. I peek out of my fingers and see him watching me with the same cold, steady gaze. He’s waiting for my reply. I give myself a few more deep breaths. He’s been violent and crazy, but he appears calm. Just need to keep him calm…I shake my head, but also start to ask quickly, “What do you mean…” I can’t finish, my face flaming red and my throat constricting.He nods, “Go on.”“What do you mean that you’ll let me choose? How do…how do I know this isn’t a trick?”“I said it isn’t. I don’t lie. I’ll keep my end of every bargain, Larissa. I want you to trust me.” I can see that pushing this might not be a good idea as his eyes squint to watch me. “Enough stalling. Choose.”“Wait!...” I swallow and shrink into the plush mattress more, expecting his hand to raise again, but he only watches me still. “What does…what do you mean by…that?” I glance down at his lap and quickly bring my eyes back up. There’s a large bulge in the front of his jeans.His lip curls again, and he takes his time answering me. “You ever even seen a dick?” I shake my head quickly, hoping for pity at this revelation. He grabs my wrist and before I can pull back with any strength, he flattens my hand over his zipper. I feel a thump against my fingers, but his grip keeps me pressed to him.Work in Progress Blurb:A Standalone Novel (no cliffy or follow ups), a dark romance (of course!), an exploration of that overly worn-out phrase Stockholm Syndrome with a fresh twist (cant not be twisted for my fans)Coming Soon - very very soon!Previous excerpt:“I’m sorry.” The words come out more like cracked mud flats, grating against my dry lips and burning throat. But He heard me even from the door.“Good.” He opens it and puts the tray on the floor next to the mattress. I don’t try to move as He comes closer to me.I was alone all day yesterday. My punishment for lashing out at Him. I was able to crawl over to the sink and pull myself up to get a few sips of water before I had to lower myself back down to the cool concrete. I didn’t bother crawling back to the mattress.He turns me and picks me up with such strength and gentleness, I feel dizzy from being so light, from feeling His warmth. I whisper a small, “Thank you,” without any feeling other than gratitude that He came back to take care of me.Lying on the floor, I had an epiphany of sorts. I could die here. I’m too young to die, but it could happen so easily. He could lock the door and walk away and never come back and I’d die. I might be found before then- but I might not too. I’ve watched enough crime shows to know that my chances of being found dwindled after the first few days. I’ve lost track already of how long I’ve been here.I made a promise to myself then. To make the best of this. To not dwell on the pain or the ugliness or the awful. To take every day one at a time and not think about the future or the past. I pictured myself much like Dorian Gray, not changing no matter the circumstances around me or within me. I would remain untouched, only facing the effects of what I have to deal with while in this cage if I ever have the chance to leave it. Only a portrait of Larissa Comstock will bear the abuse of these hopefully few days and I’ll lock that portrait away in my mind, putting off dealing with what He does to me from this point forward. It didn’t work out in the end for Dorian, but maybe I’ll fare better?I don’t know if I have the soundness of mind to do this or if the fatalistic embracing of my situation is only a fleeting effect of dehydration and delirium. But I feel calm for the first time since He took me. Maybe it’s only that I’ve already gone insane…